Latihan Menulis 2

A
One year from now..

One year from now will be very hard to me. The pain and sorrow will hurt me more. Yesterday, my heart was eager to know more about Aqsa. And I was happy when one of my ustaz told me about it. It was a holy place. It was the place that showed us the betrayal of Jews to Prophet Moses.

It was the place that Allah chooses it to be our first qiblat. It was the place that Israk and Mikraj take happen. But now, that great history will gradually be disappeared. Not only because Fatah deny their failure to Hamas. It wasn’t only because Israel Colonized Palestine. Not only because Olmert decide to dig down Aqsa site and destroyed it. They weren’t strong enough to do these all. It was us who help them to complete the colonization.

It was us who just stood and didn’t act to stop Israel from harming our sacred symbol. It was us who satisfy enough to say that we weren’t agree with Israel when they killed Palestine Citizens. Believe me, Aqsa is in danger. If we did not act now, then when should we act? We must use every single of time we have to change this. It was us who didn’t want to fight back. We have money. We have oil. We have gold. We do have military weapons. But we choose to do nothing. What is wrong with us?

B
One year from now..

One year from now will be very hard for me. The pain and sorrow will hurt me more. Yesterday, my heart was eager to know more about Aqsa. And I was happy when one of my ustaz told me about it. It was a holy place. It was the place that showed us the betrayal of Jews to Prophet Moses.

It was the place that Allah chose [Past tense, because it happened a long time ago] it to be our first qiblat. It was the place that Israk and Mikraj took place. But now, that great history will gradually disappear. Not only because Fatah deny their failure to Hamas. It wasn’t only because Israel colonized Palestine. Not only because Olmert decided to dig down into the Aqsa site and destroy it. They weren’t strong enough to do all this. It was us who helped them to complete the colonization.

It was us who just stood by and didn’t act to stop Israel from harming our sacred symbol. It was us who felt that it was enough to say that we didn’t agree with Israel when they killed Palestine Citizens. Believe me, Aqsa is in danger. If we do not act now, then when should we act? We must use every single opportunity we have to change this. It is us who don’t [not “didn’t” because it’s still happening] want to fight back. We have money. We have oil. We have gold. We even have military weapons. But we choose to do nothing. What is wrong with us?

Teacher Syazlin: VERY WELL WRITTEN, HISYAM. I ENJOY IT VERY MUCH WHEN MY STUDENTS PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THEIR WRITING AND EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS, LIKE THIS.

YOUR MISTAKES HERE ARE MAINLY TENSES, AND IN SOME PLACES, I HAVE CHOSEN SOME BETTER WORDS TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY.

SEE IF YOU AGREE.

Me: Agree!